At Least We Are Consistent

The Man-Cub’s team lost its’ third game in a row last night. Our catcher got beaned in the head, several of our outfielders tripped over their own feet while chasing pop-flies and one of our players spent an unholy amount of time racing back and forth between second and third base in an attempt to evade being tagged out.

On the other hand, the Man-Cub made an awesome play at second base and; we are grooming a pitcher who, despite being all of three feet tall, is deadly accurate, consistent and fast. There is hope for us yet, is what I’m saying.

No baseball tonight, thank goodness. Instead, this evening will be my only night home this week and I am going to attempt to cook risotto. I’ve eaten some really good risotto in one of our local Italian restaurants but have never tried to make it on my own. I think I can pull it off but, here’s hoping.

However, before I attempt culinary greatness in my own kitchen, I am helping to chaperone the Cub Scouts on a field trip to the grocery store. The plan is for the boys to cook dinner for the parents at next week’s final Den Meeting of the year and, as such, they need to do their shopping. The manager of the store is also going to take the boys on a tour of the market plus give a mini-lesson on comparison shopping. I plan to take copious notes.

On an unrelated subject; I quizzed the offspring about the science experiment being conducted in the Man-Cub’s pajama drawers and was relieved to hear that they are not, as I suspected, growing a mutant pig-clone of the flesh-eating variety.

They were merely conducting an experiment to see which bodily fluid would produce the most bacteria; snot, toe jam, earwax or spit. We are very pleased to inform you that snot came in first, followed closely by toe jam. I didn’t ask whose foot they retrieved the toe jam specimen from but I have a sneaking suspicion that it was the Cub’s.

As for where they got the fancy Petri dishes for the experiment; they were included in a Christmas gift from the kids’ Aunt Jules. I had completely forgotten about the Gross Science Kit and had, in fact, hidden it away on a closet shelf. The kids rediscovered it while Hugh and I were in Boston and my parents were kind enough to help them bust it out. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Thanks for the creepy biological experiment I discovered in the Cub’s drawer. By the way, where was this tolerance of messy-and potentially biohazardous- projects when I was growing up? Just curious.

I’m kidding. I’m glad my parents supervised the project; had it been me, I would have called the whole thing off about the time the Cub pulled off his sock to retrieve that toe jam.

Shudder.